i've realized that i'm not much of a fan of xanga anymore, it's more just a journal thing for me, for my own personal benifit and just to get my thoughts out. Nothing like the social thing it used to be.

www.myspace.com/kristina9008    <---that's where the party is

anyways.

break up recovery status:

i'm great. I'm really just fine. Ya know like, i wasn't getting along as well as i wanted to until the night of the 23rd/morning of Christmas eve.

i've been talking to emmett every day at least twice a day ever since i got here, and i'm totally not complaining, i love talking to him. And i really do miss him a lot...like...a whole lot, along with my biggest fan and my best friend.

Now the night of the 23rd i was talking to emmett and i got a text from tom that asked if i was still awake and wanted to talk. Why in the world would i turn down an offer like that. I wouldn't...and i didn't. I called him and i talked to him for almost 6 hours...until about 7:30 in the morning. I would've talked longer, but that day i had family coming in, it was Christmas Eve, i had to be at least a little bit lively.

i talked to my ex-boyfriend for almost 6 hours! I mean, that's not the typical break up action right there. But ya know, i was so happy to talk to him, and he felt the same way. It was a really good conversation, one of the best actually. We're broken up, yeah , and i don't think we'll be getting back together, we couldn't get back what we had even if we tried. Somethings are just lost. But i love how it is now...i really do

I'm coming home in 2 days, counting down, and i'll be spending that night with the exact people i'd want to have a good "welcome home" outting with.

much love guys...&hearts; k 

I've come to the conclusion that i'm the up-most confused person right now. Now, i know the facts of my situation.

people like me, i like people...blah blah.

I have a good guy, one who i could easily date. He treats me so well and has been there for me for months and months, when i was taken and when i was single. He loves me, hands down. He supports me no matter what.

 but i'm not ready for him though.

I still have feelings from my previous relationship, and, in all honesty, i think it's kinda gay. I wasn't happy, neither was he, but i loved him. It's for the better this way. I know it, i know that well. I still care about him so much---love him? No, i wouldn't take it that far, i don't think. My longest consistant relationship is now over, i'm moving on. I think. I know he is, and i realize that he probably doesn't think about me hardly ever. That's the break up part of the a relationship for you.

But i still think about him. I'll still send him the occasional text, phone call if i get brave, or actually have something to talk about. I still think about him when i'm with other guys and they do something that reminds me of him. Idk...dinosaurs maybe will trigger something. Or watching someone drive off my driveway from my window...idk.

like i said i'm confused

There's a thing we call heartbreak but i don't think my heart's ever let me down. ===> my heart's never let me down. But i still cry because i can't always have it my way. And sometimes crying can help you out...
                  sing it aloud                          sing it aloud.

And S C R E A M! stretch your lungs, i need to hear you louder now.
And S I N G! as if you'll never sing again. And when the morning comes and your throat is sore you'll face the day like you did before, with a smile on in the end

Then i don't know if you can hear me but i can hear the sounds my own echo coming back alone and i don't know why that should scare me to be so lonely but i can't stop crying out...
                   sing it aloud                          sing it aloud.

And S C R E A M! stretch your lungs i need to hear you louder now. And S I N G! as if you'll never sing again. And when the morning comes and your throat is sore you'll face the day like you did before, with a smile on in the end

I want to hear you sing this song back to me, across thousands of miles from home where i should be. And i miss you so badly but i won't waste a similie because you already know what you mean to me. If only i could hear you...

S C R E A M! stretch your lungs i need to hear you louder now.
And S I N G! as if you'll never sing again. And when the morning comes and your throat is sore you'll face the day like you did before, with a smile on in the end

won't you...


S C R E A M! stretch your lungs i need to hear you louder now.
S I N G! as if you'll never sing again. And when the morning comes and your throat is sore you'll face the day like you did before, 

                                                             
                                                       with a smile on in the end.

Allow me to reiterrate myself ====> rumors are stupid, lying is for queers. Thank you for your time

"I saw the dreams you never thought you'd use, tossed along the way."
                                -Goo Goo Dolls

Question to think about: is there such thing as human forgiveness, or do we all just say "i forgive you" beacuse you're just tired of fighting and want to move on with life...?

"I'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for who i'm not."
                           - Kurt Cobain

"just remember in a relationship, any relationship, it takes two"   
                            -Evan

"So take these the words and sing out loud. Because everyone's forgiven now, cuz tonight's the night the world begins again."  
                             - Goo Goo Dolls

"With love, you should go ahead and take the risk of getting hurt, because love is an amazing feeling."
                             - Anonymous